Cyanide Sun
by pretty-dolly
Summary: Is that my fate? To forever burn in the sun of rejection? Alone, loveless? Will I never find peace? He reached up and touched the tattoo on his forehead. Love…?


**Hehe um yeah I know this is probably pissing some of you off but I really do promise that I will update either Blood on the Moon or Deidara's Daughter really soon. For now enjoy this one shot.**

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Gaara sat on the floor of his room running his fingers over the button eyes of his childhood teddy bear. Temari and Kankuro had no idea he still had it. It was one of the very few things he was able to save when his "father" had decided that he was to old for his childhood thing and threw them out. He was ten.

As he sat there he thought back on the reason that he had saved this one teddy out of all the other possessions he had. It was ragged really, this old teddy, the eyes had lost all the shine they once had. The fur was no long soft to the touch, but rather rough and well-worn. The stuffing that had once filled it evenly was now group mostly in the arms and legs form years of being clutched tightly to his chest.

But that's the exact reason Gaara had kept it, because it reminded him of himself.

His eyes no long glowed with the innocence and joy that they had when he was naïve to the idea that his whole village despised and feared him for something that he had no control over. His soft outer shell, which he had been willing to open up and let people in, was now hardened over by thick grainy sand. And the hope he had once been filled with was now depleted and scattered. Oh yes, he and his teddy were alike, and no one knew but him and teddy. And as long as he was around it would stay that way.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, Gaara looked out the window at the village that was Suna. It was a fairly wealthy community. Of course they came no where near the wealth of some other great villages such as Konoha or Iwa, because those villages relied on their large, ever growing population for a substantial income. Suna wasn't exactly vacation material, what with its scorching days and near freezing nights, people would naturally try to avoid such a place. But there was a diamond hidden among the coal. Suna was world renown for have the best sunsets and rises out of all the nations.

So when Gaara noticed the sun beginning to lower he set his precious bear down, grabbed his MP3, and quickly made for the front door. After descending down a flight of stair Gaara reached the main floor of his siblings and his two story house. Down here the air was cold and tense. It was obvious his siblings had heard him come down the stair and were in the other room praying that he wouldn't come into the same room.

He sighed softly. Couldn't they see he wasn't the same person he was three months ago. Why couldn't they just see _him_ and not the demon inside of him? He had apologized over and over for everything he had done, and yet they still can't stand to be in the same room with him. _Will it ever change? Will we ever be a normal family?_ He thought remorsefully. Who was he kidding they would never be normal not with him around.

So he quickly exited the house so his siblings wouldn't be burdened with his presence.

He walked slowly down the streets of Suna toward the main gate. As he pasted people whispered to one another and ducked quickly away. He wasn't trying to seem intimidating. He had even changed out of his normal cloths for something more casual. He was now wearing some black ninja pants and sandals, with bandages from the knee down to keep the sand out of his pants, and a plain light blue long-sleeved shirt.

Now as he got closer to the gate villagers started to pretend he wasn't there, as if he was only a ghost. He'd let them believe he didn't exist. _I am dead to you aren't I? if only that were true._ If he were dead no one would have to feel uncomfortable anymore. If he were dead his siblings would be free from the burden his birth had cursed on them. If only he were dead. No point in wishing, Shukaku wouldn't ever allow him to die as long as it was preventable. He never expected what Naruto Uzumaki had proposed to be so hard. He should have known that the people of this village wouldn't just forget the past an embrace him with open arms.

Finally he reached the gate. Strolling quickly threw it he ignored the remark of 'good riddance'._ I wonder if they realize I'm coming back._ Probably not considering who he was to them. They were most likely relieved that that he was not in their village if only for a little while.

He walk a ways into the desert, over a large dune, then back over another until he was far enough from the gate that he could be seen but not descripted. He sat on the crest of a large dune and pulled out his MP3 to watch the sunset. A song began to play.

**Should've known how hard it is to stop**

**Tearing each other apart  
Separating souls entwined**

**with all these labyrinthine lies**

I am dead to you, a shadow doomed  
My love, forever in the dark  
And of all untruths the truest is you  
Too close to my heart

This emptiness I've made my home  
Embracing memories of dreams long gone  
One last caress from the corpse of love is all I want  
Underneath the cyanide sun

We've sailed the seas of grief 

**on a raft built with our tears  
Looking for a way to disappear**

**for a moment from our deepest fears**

I'll be drowning you in this river of gloom  
Forever in my heart 

**This emptiness I've made my home  
Embracing memories of dreams long gone  
One last caress from the corpse of love is all I want  
Underneath the cyanide sun**

**Underneath the cyanide sun**

**(We will be, we will be)**

**Underneath the cyanide sun**

**(We will be, we will be)**

**Underneath the cyanide sun**

Gaara sat there and watched as the sun sunk down below the horizon. _Is that my fate? To forever burn in the sun of rejection? Alone, loveless? Will I never find peace? _He reached up and touched the tattoo on his forehead._ Love…?_ He suddenly became aware of the moister that was rolling down his face. _Tears? I-I'm crying._ Indeed he was, sobbing really. His body shook violently and more tears made their way down his face.

A hand landed on Gaara's shoulder making him jump and spin around. There standing behind him was Temari and Kankuro. They both look extremely nervous, but determined none the less.

At seeing the tears on Gaara's face Temari's expression softened, she knelt down while pulling a tissue from her pocket and wipe Gaara's face. He was too shocked at seeing them to react.

"Gaara…it's getting late and you should come home now…we have to eat dinner." Said Kankuro still nervous.

"Y-yeah, and it's supposed to be really cold tonight…you might get sick." Temari added while standing up.

"So, c-come on." Kankuro said holding out his hand to help Gaara up. Temari did the same.

Gaara stared at the hands for a moment. Contemplating whether or not to take them. He knew for a fact the his brother and sister were terrified of him and that they would never have the close relationship other siblings have. But maybe…maybe they could try. They could to get past all the lies they've been fed.

Take both their hand, he used his feet to help them hoist him up. But as they walked back towards the village he didn't let go of their hands, and they didn't seem to mind. So they walked hand in hand back through their village to there little two story house to try and remake their broken family.

Maybe, just maybe they could try to be a family.

**We will be, we will be**


End file.
